Allow everything to be what it is and everyone to be who they are, including yourself. And deal with things accordingly. In any given situation things can move forward easily or we can choose to try to bend them to the ideal we have in mind. We can accept people based on how they behave and present themselves. Or, we can be angry that they aren’t doing what we think they should be doing, in a timeframe which we’ve decided is proper and in a manner we see as perfect. Do we ourselves do things in a way and in the timeframe that everyone else would see as perfect? Of course not, no two people observe the same reality. We don’t even see the color blue as the same blue. We are individuals, we’re human.
Managing our own lives, at best, is not always easy. Add to that, as Caregivers, we are managing the life of another, sometimes two. It can be a daunting task, especially if we haven’t developed the ability to step back from a situation and observe it for what it is. And we can all fall back into old habits and find ourselves in struggles before we know what hit us.
When we’re working against the natural flow of things, we become tired and have no energy. For me, it’s when my mood is not calm and optimistic. When I stop creating and can’t smile honestly. When that three way conversation is going on over and over again in my head. The one that argues with itself and then talks back with solutions that are strictly one sided. It’s a common theme. If it goes on long enough depression can set in. Our health can suffer. Now we’re the one who needs care.
How do we prevent this from happening? I believe we must learn to pause and choose. Pause before we disagree openly with anyone. Pause before we choose to be irritated or angry. Pause before we choose to show that person who didn’t show up on time how they’ve disrespected us. Pause before we argue with the person in our charge, especially one who may have dementia or is just too sick and can’t make the choice to control themselves. Pause and forget our ego that doesn’t want us to look weak or stupid in someone else’s eyes. Do you know how smart you will be to step aside from your ego? It’s the high road and you’ll learn to feel really good when you let the other person think whatever they want to think. If they are the problem, it’s theirs to work out not ours. We can choose to feel that terrible frustration that we know will result from our words and not get us anywhere. We can go where that knotted-up painful feeling is in the pit of our stomach again, or not. And is it really a fair fight if the person with whom you’re arguing is suffering from issues you’ve never even dealt with and can’t relate to?
Again, the answer is…let everything be what it is and everyone be who they are, including yourself. Pause before you decide to take the low road. Be generous with your humility and you’ll find harmony. You’ll be respected and have more peace in your life.
Until soon, I wish you love and harmony.
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