“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.”
– RICHARD BACH author of, “Jonathon Livingston Seagull”
A few years ago, when my blog was new, I received a call from a reader who wanted to discuss her plans for creating a retirement home of her own, one where she could live for the remainder of her life. Since that time, I’ve heard from many women, it’s always been women, who have similar concepts but with interesting variations. People are so creative, it’s wonderful to observe. They’ve been inspired, often, by being a caregiver for someone else and wanting to keep their independence for as long as possible, as well as experience joy and companionship in later years.
That reader, from Virginia I believe, told me her husband was 5 years older then she and the likelihood of her being a widow one day was high. She was thinking about gradually converting her three bedroom house so that it would be suitable to bring in two more people who were of similar age and lifestyle. They would be like family for each other and share expenses to make it easier for all, while enjoying each other’s company. A private bathroom adjacent to each bedroom would be the greatest out of pocket expense to start. She could begin the work now, taking her time making improvements, therefore, keeping costs down by being flexible with completion dates. Once she had her two residents carefully chosen, as need developed, they could hire outside help at a much lower cost than if they were paying for services individually. She wanted to discuss any necessary improvements or pitfalls she might not have foreseen.
This sounded like a great idea on several levels. The one that stands out for me is the friendship that could be developed between the residents. I’m reminded of the 1980’s comedy television series, THE GOLDEN GIRLS. The writers were fabulous at showing the good hearts of very diverse characters. The four women became a family in the truest sense of the word. Fiction, but quite believable.
Loneliness is one of the most difficult aspects of old age. Everyone around you is young. Your friends pass on and there’s no one left who remembers things that are fond memories for you, like the popular music and movies from your generation. They didn’t share the historical events of your life and can’t reminisce about old times. The joy can go out of life prematurely.
This type of arrangement could be complicated. I’m not ignoring the potential problems I’m sure we can all come up with, but coming at it from a most positive angle at the start and preparing long before the need arises seems like a great idea if it appeals to you.
Another reader, a young woman in her 30’s!, told me she and her group of four best friends from high school, all professional women who had been meeting once a year since for girls weekend out, were thinking of buying a property together that they could convert to an upscale retirement home for themselves one day. Some of these girls had had personal caregiving experience with parents and grandparents. They are already a family.
Another, a seventy year old woman, recently widowed, was in transition currently. She and her affluent friends were looking for a property in a location they saw as perfect for their retirement, where they could socialize (for them near a golf course) and be close to shopping, restaurants and movies.
Creative people feel a need and fill it. It doesn’t matter what age or economic bracket you’re in, it is really nice to have friends around. It makes life worth living. I wish you joy in your Creativity!
Feel free to send me an email with some of your creative ideas. If you have questions, I’m happy to answer your emails. Our FAQ section answers a few common questions and my bio will give you information on my professional background in case I can help you in other matters.