Especially as a Caregiver, we’re involved constantly in other peoples emotional states as well as our own. I’ve found that by taking charge of my own emotions, I give the upset person the space to release their frustration, but no ammunition to continue the fight. So often, what an angry/upset person seems to be saying is not conveying the real problem anyway. And they aren’t necessarily angry at the person they’re taking it out on. Sometimes they’re angry at themselves or life. It’s a waste of valuable energy to get into a struggle with an upset loved one. Saving yourself from the drain of your energy is a gift you can give to yourself.
I play tricks on myself mentally all the time. I have daily “alerts” on my phone that remind me to do things like “take a deep breath” and “Don’t make assumptions.” To keep out of arguments, when I realize trouble is brewing, I visualize a traffic STOP sign, mentally (it appears on the right side in the back of my brain). This STOP sign helps me pause long enough to decide to observe instead of react. It helps me to realize it’s them and not me. I feel sorry that they’re upset and know that the best thing I can do for them is let them get it out. If you listen calmly, you can deal with what they’ve said after they calm down, if it’s important. Otherwise, I find it best just to be understanding.
I know this might sound easier said than done. But, with practice, you’ll get good at it and use it more and more. Just see a STOP sign and take a breath. You’ll disarm the emotional person and gain their respect because they couldn’t rattle you.
Do something nice for yourself today!
Until soon, I wish you love and peace.
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