I Have Half An Hour and All The Time in the World


Actually, all the time in eternity.

Peace in my life came when the concept of living eternally finally sunk in, just a few years ago.  Slowly, very slowly, once it occurred to me that my life had to have more significance than I had given it for so many years, I started to feel something powerful within, my own energy.  Words are inadequate, it is a force.  It’s the energy of life and its eternal. It’s been there all along and is not to be taken for-granted.  It’s to be used to create the best we know how for ourselves and everything and everyone around us.

Sometimes creating means stepping back, observing, stepping out of our usual patterns.  When you least have time and it seems the world is against you that day, try purposely letting someone go ahead of you in line at the grocery store or in traffic.  Observe that you have just done something for someone else, but mostly for yourself. You’ve set a whole different string of events in place than might have been. You’ve shifted your mood to being relaxed, the mood of the person you were courteous to is now grateful and the events that will follow for each of you are different because you arrived at the next scene moments later than you might have and with a better attitude.  Who knows what disaster you may have found yourself in if you had remained in that hectic mode.

You can extrapolate this one seemingly insignificant choice out to something well down the road in your life, a shape shift.  Your life is completely different because of a conscious choice you made way-back-when.  Isn’t your life right now the result of all those choices you made in the past?  Were they conscious, purposeful choices that created a meaningful life for your future?  Did you create something wonderful?

Somehow, seeing my personal energy, my soul, as eternal helped me view this life with much more significance than previously.  With more patience, also.  It became important to make choices, no matter how small, that would be a sound foundation for whatever lies in my future.  Be it in this life or in eternity.

We all know that the Holiday Season can be hectic.  May I suggest that it is the perfect time to reflect, practice patience and do a little shape-shifting.  If you think you’ve got merely half an hour to do something, think again.  Is it the pressure making the choices or is it your best self choosing what is best for you and everyone around you?

Your power is tremendous. Can you feel it? It’s the root of life and we’re in it together.  What affects one affects the whole.

I wish you a peaceful and lovely Holiday Season. May you experience JOY in your heart and LOVE for your life.


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“Table For One, Please”

Everything is fresh and new to me in the small town I’ve found to live in while enjoying a new phase of my life.  I’ve shed the big city for another adventure.  This time in the mid-West.  I’m working in an enchanting little shop on Main Street, USA.  People come in to buy gifts, most often personally engraved with lovely sentiments they want to express to loved ones.  It’s easy to fall in love with people when they’re expressing their heartfelt feelings.  I get to see the best side of them.  Such a pleasure.

A few days ago, I had just said “Goodbye” to a couple who purchased a gift but didn’t know the exact wording they would use for the engraving.  It had to be perfect and part of it was to be in a foreign language.  They were going to call me later to complete the inscription. We were all excited to see how their creation would turn out.

With a light step, feeling good, I clocked out to have lunch at a restaurant across the street. I like the food there and the service had been very good both times I had eaten there, previously.  There’s usually a line out the door at lunch hour.  This day I walked in and could see they were busy, but there were a couple of empty tables so I felt lucky to have beaten the crowd.   The host greeted me with a menu in his hand.  “Table for one, please,” I said.  Right then that little jab of recognition hit me, I know it because I’ve eaten in restaurants alone for years.  “Sorry,” he said. “I don’t have a table for you now.”  My instinct told me that if I had asked for a table for two I would have been seated.  I, also, sensed that he knew that I knew he could have seated me.

Okay,  “Don’t take it personally,” I told myself. Some people think they’re going to lose money on a single customer.  Maybe it’s the culture there.  The owner may put pressure on the employees and they have no choice but to follow orders or lose their job.  Whatever the situation, I felt sorry for them.  For now, I had to consider my options and decide quickly.  “Okay, thank you,” I said and left.

I could choose the cafe across the street, but I was in the mood for the Spanish omelette this restaurant served.  I headed back to the store to clock back in.  I would wait till the lunch rush was over.

As I walked back into the store, the couple who had left me earlier were at the desk, they had returned, unexpectedly, with the information they needed and were so happy to see me.  We completed the order for their creation and their gift would now be everything they wanted it to be.  Besides that, we had become friends, even if for only a short time that morning.

Always on the lookout for serendipity in my life, I realized, after the couple left, that had I gotten a table earlier or chosen to go to another restaurant, I would have missed those lovely people when they needed me.  Isn’t that just how life works?  That subtle connection that goes unnoticed most of the time is the magic we really should be appreciating.  Is there any doubt we’re all connected?

About an hour later I ventured back into the restaurant.  As I caught the eye of the host, I sensed a flicker of recognition (maybe surprise at seeing me again?).  I smiled and asked if he had a table for me now.  He did, he nodded pleasantly, and led me to a good spot next to a window.  Life is good. The Omelette was great.

Reflecting on how the day had gone, I thought about how it might have played out, had I been offended by the hosts rejection. I would have set in motion a whole different sequence of events. To punish him (in my mind only), I might have chosen to have lunch elsewhere and never go to his place again.  But I would have been punishing myself.  I would have deprived myself of the good food I so enjoyed.  If I had taken the rejection personally and been resentful, my appetite would have diminished and the whole lunch experience would have been soured.  And, most importantly, I would have missed those lovely people who returned expecting to complete their creation with me.  With a hurt heart for the rest of the day, my low energy would have effected anyone with whom I came in contact.

That’s just my side of the experience.  The waiters tip and the income for the owners, which they use to pay employees would have been missed.  You could extrapolate endlessly on the negative vibration that goes out as a result of taking personally, what isn’t personal.

But, reverse that and think of the infinite positive energy that spreads through your body and out into the world, as a result of a joyful experience.  Think of the good health we could each enjoy if we could let things roll off our backs like a duck sheds water.  For today, could we forget all the injustices that we feel from our past that build up and cause negative energy in our bodies and minds?  For just this moment can you clear your mind, imagine you’re a blank slate, with no past?  You don’t even have a name, no label.  Everything is fresh and new.  Even the future doesn’t exist.  Take a deep breath!  Let a wave of freedom wash over you.  Now that’s a positive vibration!

Doesn’t it feel liberating?  Now you are cheerful, going about your day as you see it in the moment.  Stuff happens, you deal with it from a place of interest, curiosity, generosity, understanding and compassion.  Life responds to you with interest, curiosity, generosity, understanding and compassion.  Its a fresh start.  Every moment we have a choice.  The past is gone, why let it effect our present?  The future isn’t here and never will be.  It’s always the present moment.  We have free will. Choose to love life as you are creating it.  Trust nature to respond to your creativity with like vibration.

It is absolutely possible to live this way, no matter what your life is like right now.  Choose new and fresh everyday.  Look at people as if they are new and fresh. Give them a chance to interact with you from a fresh place.  A smile can open the door.

I wish you lovely present moments for the rest of your life,





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Everything Has Its Season

Life is magical, mysterious, wonderous, and miraculous. Lose the magic, and you lose life. It becomes dull and joyless. When you have flashes of wonder, that is the wizard’s touch. The worst curse to befall anyone is stagnation, a banal existence, the quiet desperation that comes out of a need for conformity

– Deepak Chopra; The Return of Merlin


Nowhere do I see the fear of stagnation as I see it in the eyes of so many Caregivers.  There’s a battle going on inside, it’s a swimmer trying desperately to keep her head above water.  It feels like you’re drowning, alone.  Will you ever have a life of your own again?  The battle can, if you choose, be seen positively, as a Challenge.  Maybe the greatest Challenge of your life.  The one that brings you the most fulfilling Joy as you take responsibility for finding your way.  As you recognize it as a Season in which you and those you care for are in a dance together. Each finding your own flow with Nature.  Have no doubt, our Season of devoted Caregiving will have its way.  Just like Winter is a prerequisite for Spring.  Your time as a Carer is a preparation for your next phase of life.

Caregiving is not a sacrifice and it is not one-sided.  The laws of Nature are firm.  Struggle, resentment, self-pity, sorrow, and fear will only bring you more of the same.  It’s that stubborn law of attraction.  The only way to live without the fear of stagnation is to accept your Season (in whatever your current situation).  Go with it in the most patient, loving, trusting way possible.  Give all that you have to give and do it with love.  But, not passively.  Be mindful that this is an opportunity for you to grow in spirit.  In your soul. You must ruthlessly take responsibility for everything in your life.  Never, ever, hold a grudge or blame anyone else for your circumstances.   And always see yourself as a magnificent creature in the throes of a human experience and appreciate every moment.  We don’t have to understand it.  It’s too marvelous and so complex and mysterious.  It’s beyond knowing. All I know is what I’ve witnessed through my own observation and experience.  Nature will respond and bring us through our difficult Seasons faster and more easily when we surrender to whatever is happening in any given moment.  That’s the nature of Nature. The law of cause and effect.  There are no exceptions.    

When we embrace our nature as Caregivers, we recognize that our innate desire and ability to help others, to nurture, is a great gift.  The ultimate Feminine is in the human nature of both women and men.  You don’t have to be a woman putting your life on hold (or so you think) while you take care of another person’s every need to be a Caregiver, a Carer. That’s just the stereotype. You know who you are by your life’s experience.  It will never be different.  It’s an archetype. One of the most desirable, in my opinion, because giving out of love is beautiful.  It’s not your only attribute, we humans are composed of many archetypes.  But, like each of our attributes, it is up to us how we use our talents and develop our skills.  We can see ourselves as powerless and without choice, or we can surrender to our current situation and take control by seeking the means by which our personal needs and desires can be met while we do the job we feel compelled to do.

With Love, I hope you go in search of the Magic of Life.  It is there, your desire to find it will lead you to it.






If you’d like to share some thoughts or tell me your story, please send an email to me at patricia@caregivingcornerstone.com or go to the “Send a Message” section of my blog. I’ll get back to you promptly.

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“Chef, From Your Kitchen, Create!”

It’s so inspiring when the Universe drops another pearl at my feet.  I get to share it with all of you. Maybe I should keep the source of my inspiration to myself and just pretend I come up with such wisdom on my own, from my intellect. But that wouldn’t be any fun. Pearls of wisdom are treasure. The fun is in sharing and enjoying, what I believe, is Universal wisdom.

This pearl, “CHEF, FROM YOUR KITCHEN, CREATE!”, came to me in a flash (a thought in my head) as I was contemplating the consequences of words I use when I say, “I am…” and, alternately, when I say, “I am not…”.

At the moment I received the words I thought of cooking, of course.  But, you can replace the words CHEF and KITCHEN with anything that you relate to.  “ARTIST, FROM YOUR EASEL, CREATE!” “SINGER, FROM YOUR VOICE, CREATE!”  “WELDER, FROM YOUR TORCH, CREATE!” “TEACHER FROM YOUR CLASSROOM, CREATE!”  In my case; “WRITER, FROM YOUR PEN, CREATE!”

It’s a metaphor that reminds me that life is about creation. We humans feel JOY when creating because that’s when we’re in sync with the source of all creation. JOY is the wonderful feeling we experience when we’re lost in our work because our work is what we love to do.  And when we’re feeling JOY, our life’s energy, our spirit is shining brightly.  More Joy leads to better health and more physical energy. CREATE and live life well.

Finding a way to experience more JOY is the best thing a human being can do for themselves and those around them. When we’re happy with our lives it’s contagious.  The energy around us changes the energy of others. Life becomes a pleasure.  Perception of our tasks and interactions with others is changed for the good.

For most of my life I didn’t know where my JOY was.  I thought we were each born to accomplish something important. Something society thought was important. Only I never figured out what that was for me.  Actually, I think our American culture pressures us to become SOMETHING. And not just something, but something IMPORTANT.  To be SUCCESSFUL.  And the proof of success, of course, is how much money can be generated from our efforts.  But, how often do we hear of the unhappiness of those we think have everything money can buy?

Rather late in life, I learned that the thing that takes our minds to a place where time has no meaning is where our JOY is.  The place where we forget to eat, where we work effortlessly and something just flows through us so naturally that we forget about everything around us.  I’d had those experiences since I was a child.  Drawing, painting and sewing to name a few, were my constant activities when young.  When I was older, reading and writing, which are still a passion. But, I never saw those passions as having a purpose of value. I guess I was having too much fun and didn’t see how I could make those things into something that would “pay.”  My values were misplaced. I can’t help but feel that I’m not alone in this.  The value was in the JOY!

Happy is the person who can lose themselves in the JOY of their work.  I am…a writer.  I am…an artist.  I am not…going to waste any more of my time on earth letting others make decisions about my life.  Love and creativity make life worth living. Life is short…CHEF, FROM YOUR KITCHEN, CREATE!  NOW.



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With your hand on your throat (where your voice and power arise) and a response from your heart (where the truth comes from), who hears what you really want to say? Only you? Only the pit of your stomach when it goes queasy and says to your mind: “I should have said no. Why can’t I say no? Why do they take advantage of me? Isn’t my time as valuable as theirs? Why do they make me feel guilty if I say no?”

Because I speak from experience, I know what a big deal it is to have no boundaries on what you’re willing to take on for others. It’s not an unusual Caregiver trait. I’m an expert. But, I’m a recovering expert and want to share with you how I discovered how to say “no” and be okay with that. No guilt.

First, I paid attention to how others handled it when they were asked to do something for which they said no. I observed that for some it was difficult. You could see it in their face and hear it in their voice. For others it was fairly easy. I’m guessing the ones it was difficult for were just starting to get their power back. The latter had practice.

Most people that have no problem saying “no” might tell you it’s not so hard, “just say no.” But, it is at first. It’s hard because we’re used to not telling the truth. We learn this at an early age if we don’t have strong roll models. We even think it’s okay because we see it as being a nice person. It’s like a white lie. But, a lie is a lie, no matter what color the ink is. Sorry, I’m being tough here, saying “yes” when you want to say “no” is not truthful. As a former non-truthful, no boundaries practitioner, I can HONESTLY say I’m recovering. And it’s empowering!

You take baby steps, you buckle-up, armed with your weapon that is TRUTH. Once you realize you’re not the honest person you always thought you were, that will get you. Now that you’re aware there’s no going back. You’ll recognize your moment when you need your reinforcement, your HONOR. It will come out of the blue, someone will ask you something and you recognize that this is it. Do you respond with TRUTH or do you remain a liar and say yes when you want to say no? Are you willing to find your voice (it’s hidden in TRUTH) or will you go on for the rest of your life knowing that you could have been a more powerful and happier human being? You’ll slip, it’s okay, that slip will teach you how easy it’s been to be less than truthful much of your life. You’ll have another chance very soon. Don’t be hard on yourself unless you don’t start improving. It should happen quickly. It gets easier with each opportunity. The feeling of being empowered is intoxicating.

Anita Moorjani, author of “Dying to be Me”, is one of the people I admire most in this world. Her Facebook video discussion has been added to this post because she brilliantly addresses the significance of being able to say “NO” and has several suggestions for Caregivers that I hope you will find interesting and helpful in your own lives.

It’s amazing how your life just perks up when you live in truth. You’ve heard the saying, “The truth shall set you free.” You will finally understand the meaning therein. It seems like a little thing, saying NO. But it’s a huge Yes in your life when you have boundaries! It’s all you’ve ever lacked. Otherwise, you’re perfect and I love you.

BIG HUG on this one,

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