Life is magical, mysterious, wonderous, and miraculous. Lose the magic, and you lose life. It becomes dull and joyless. When you have flashes of wonder, that is the wizard’s touch. The worst curse to befall anyone is stagnation, a banal existence, the quiet desperation that comes out of a need for conformity
– Deepak Chopra; The Return of Merlin
Nowhere do I see the fear of stagnation as I see it in the eyes of so many Caregivers. There’s a battle going on inside, it’s a swimmer trying desperately to keep her head above water. It feels like you’re drowning, alone. Will you ever have a life of your own again? The battle can, if you choose, be seen positively, as a Challenge. Maybe the greatest Challenge of your life. The one that brings you the most fulfilling Joy as you take responsibility for finding your way. As you recognize it as a Season in which you and those you care for are in a dance together. Each finding your own flow with Nature. Have no doubt, our Season of devoted Caregiving will have its way. Just like Winter is a prerequisite for Spring. Your time as a Carer is a preparation for your next phase of life.
Caregiving is not a sacrifice and it is not one-sided. The laws of Nature are firm. Struggle, resentment, self-pity, sorrow, and fear will only bring you more of the same. It’s that stubborn law of attraction. The only way to live without the fear of stagnation is to accept your Season (in whatever your current situation). Go with it in the most patient, loving, trusting way possible. Give all that you have to give and do it with love. But, not passively. Be mindful that this is an opportunity for you to grow in spirit. In your soul. You must ruthlessly take responsibility for everything in your life. Never, ever, hold a grudge or blame anyone else for your circumstances. And always see yourself as a magnificent creature in the throes of a human experience and appreciate every moment. We don’t have to understand it. It’s too marvelous and so complex and mysterious. It’s beyond knowing. All I know is what I’ve witnessed through my own observation and experience. Nature will respond and bring us through our difficult Seasons faster and more easily when we surrender to whatever is happening in any given moment. That’s the nature of Nature. The law of cause and effect. There are no exceptions.
When we embrace our nature as Caregivers, we recognize that our innate desire and ability to help others, to nurture, is a great gift. The ultimate Feminine is in the human nature of both women and men. You don’t have to be a woman putting your life on hold (or so you think) while you take care of another person’s every need to be a Caregiver, a Carer. That’s just the stereotype. You know who you are by your life’s experience. It will never be different. It’s an archetype. One of the most desirable, in my opinion, because giving out of love is beautiful. It’s not your only attribute, we humans are composed of many archetypes. But, like each of our attributes, it is up to us how we use our talents and develop our skills. We can see ourselves as powerless and without choice, or we can surrender to our current situation and take control by seeking the means by which our personal needs and desires can be met while we do the job we feel compelled to do.
With Love, I hope you go in search of the Magic of Life. It is there, your desire to find it will lead you to it.
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